estoy detrás!

sorry hasn't update in a while..gotten letters of complaint and hate mails already from people whom constantly visit this place....... all my energy was drained in my fight against the 3.5k essay i had to submit 2 days ago. Was doing some cultural thing on graffiti artwork...i thought i didn't like essay writing, but as soon as i got it going, the ride was quite enjoyable.

Painting on an array of connected surfaces (i.e. the corner of a room). Such technique exaggerates the viewing plane by distorting the artwork giving it a 3 dimensional form. and at certain viewpoints, it actually delete the corners of the room. IThe techinical term is known as ‘anamorphic projection’.
-chu

Hmm, done with sharing bits of my research work, now..now i don't know what i should write.....hmm......ok, lets try this one.......yesterday as usual i was playing soccer at amk with my soccer kakis, (don't worry, its not some narration of how i scored beautiful goals or bending the ball like beckham or dazzling the court with my magical skills...) one of team mate (who hasn't gotten my name right) asked for my name as sometimes he wants to make passes to me but i was looking at pretty girls passing by or giving autographs to my "fans"......

Back to reality....ok when he asked me, i had to think for awhile, and he was like puzzled.......i was wondering if i should tell him the hanyupinyin one or the dialect one. Frankly, the only people that call me by the name "genghao" are those from my pri school, my cousins, uncle and aunties. My parents have the priviledge of calling me in a more...erm i would say, warmth tone - "hao ah!"..A low "hao" and a hi "ah"......then i think when we reached some stage in primary school, my form teacher suddenly tell the class one day.."ok class, from today onwards you all have to write your names using the dialect forms"......for a moment i remembered clearly, i was feeling like my real identity is being taken away from me....i don't really feel comfortable with the new 'chong keng how'...It is from then on, we joked about our new dialect names and start identifying ourselves with that not seeing the potential negative effect it will have on us probably psychologically until when we are much older like now(at least for me to a cetain extent).... i was hesitating which one to tell him because i would prefer people to call me "genghao" at most times..genghao definately feels more comfortable and intimate.

this morning i was awaken by a strange dream, i was surprise it would be her in my dreams. it was a pretty saddening dream for it made me feel how some things you are only able to live it once and no more....that nostalgia feeling was strong again when i thought it was fading.....maybe one day it would be gone before we know it.....that is some misery maybe at some point we can't even be aware of........

Weds....in a few days time i would take on a journey whereby my usual self will not be able to handle, i will have to pick myself up from the dump and strive for the better......