its month end and this has nothing to do with this post

the last 8 days has been quite chaotic. not sure whether this is the best vocabulary to use thou, had an over-dose of booze the entire week.... greatly changed the impression of people will have of me in terms of appreance(u'll know what i mean when u see me)..... working as diligently as ever...still procrastinating over my school work....trying out the beast pushing it at its limit(which i doubt i did).....and cont to wonder why "the one" has failed to appear on my "anti-singlehood" radar system.

with reference to my butt's, oops i mean bud's blog....this extraction as you read on:
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buddies you can't buy

we gather for food, parties and games..

the one game that bring us closer together, Winning Eleven
One plays and makes lots of irritating comments.
One plays with a serious face.
One plays and squeals like a girl.
One plays like he is gonna kill someone.

Be it games, lunching, dinnering, steamboat, parties, birthdays, festive season, gathering, supper.. the effort of making the first move to make a gathering, to make that call, it is all this simple things we do, that make us buddies that can't be bought..

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i appreciate friends for knowing and understanding me well.....thinking of the times i can't even stand myself. for that, i take my hat off you (now is this proper english again?) i guess knowing me to the core is a difficult deal and even i myself continue to surprise myself sometimes with my behaviour, actions, thoughts and such....

to chelsea, the more complex we wanna think sometimes.....we will end up getting back to the simplest form of saying like "live life to the max" blah blah

to arsenal, welcome back dude.....i will continue to thrash your arsenal

to barcapool, your use of barca or liverpool "trying to confuse us" tactics will not work against me. all the best to your freaking chim studies. maybe u can go learn some martial art and u can be the next "wongfeihong"....

"buggering"

the alcoholic level isn't sufficient to wash the thoughts thats perpetually rounding in my "2nd mind".......but still, i manage to come to a conclusion of whats best for me.

it takes alot of discipline and determination. And i am appreciate my friends' advices.

i will hence, look forward to the new path that i am going to take on.

Unsure of which path will be the merrier one, but deinately its a cause and effect formula which ultimately helps me to decide and weighs the priorities in life.

i apologise for the "screwed up" vocabulary and grammer.....goodnight.

money will not make MY world go round.....hopefully~

as far as the present "me" is concerned.....the title of my post is somewhat factual and accurate.

3times i witness.....3.xx am....collected the cam that was ever so readily to be lent out.....2nd night of addiction, 2nd night of late sleeping.......knowing i have a grave duty the next day, i do wat i thought was right....what my heart tells me to do.....so there isn't exactly any right or wrong....anyway, it felt good....don't ever think you are good at "guessing" games...you'll never know how he/she feeling, what he/she is thinking until you talk to him/her.........

a meet-up today made me feel how old we have become...how much the thoughts of the past should be cherished even more. still un-able to conduct expressionism in a verbal form comfortably, i do what i usually do best, listening and talking less......in other's context could be the following: stoning, unattentive, aloof, nonchalant, reserved, disinterest, etc

been rather "occupied" recently, miss the days of "down-hilling", "thursday's sentosa", "steamboat sessions" and many more......(this paragraph is redundant)

by now, you should get what the title is trying to imply? maybe, maybe not.....

make or break

it was a hectic week (last week that is), a "meaningful" friday and a refreshing weekend. all i can say, the way i react to things never fails to amaze myself.

assignements are piling up and i had to find means to complete them. thinking of a new hypothesis statement for my reasearch paper, and struggling to start on my specs app. its the last of two monmths before i say bye bye to studies for now..(as the usual studious and geeky me, i would love to pursue a masters, or phd etc)

now....i feel this post is alittle redundant......

someone that i can really love.

feeling bold and just imagining i am talking to a wall right here, i daringly pen down my title for my post today as the thought suddenly struck me just when i was about to head for my shower.

maybe its time, maybe its desperation, maybe its the feeling of insecurities of this unpredictable world that triggers this thought. i know the reasons very well why she hasn't appear.....maybe i was being stupid, but all that belongs to the past. if there is one more thing i have to be afraid about now, it has got to be this - not being able to find someone that i can truly love....its scary, almost as fearful as the "2310".

my mom suddenly has the kick recently for questioning about my singlehood status. i was taken aback, i was shocked and i had nothing much to say. its the first time ever she asked about this in such a concerned manner. of cos there is no standard procedure to finding the "right one"...so i did not bother to explain that i delibrately missed some steps or avoided the short cut.......

maybe its all the love that is in the air recently that causes this..........my friends, my cousins, my family, the kind neighbour, the courtesy bus uncle etc......

loving love and love loving......it feels good

not writing by days but by memory chunks...

the key to adrenaline once again
the "crux" is in my hands and the ignition process follows. the excitement filled to the brim of my throat, too precious for me to open my mouth and spill them all. a light twist sets the beast growling, and reving its soul in a ferocious manner. ready to be set loose and terrorise, my heart beats faster as i put it into motion. slow and steady as echoes of the growling gets louder and louder. it seems desperate to be freed from the concrete cage, i got full control of it as we wander out into the open. growling gradually turns into roars.....the feeling is unexplainable. weaving through the calm flux on what seems to be a peaceful afternoon, the rage of the roaring was like music to my ears....enjoyment.

an arty sunday afternoon
usual sunday when i would go to studio haroobee at esplanade. packed and busy in the morning but still compared to any other work, its worth it. this sunday would somewhat be qute different. like last year, we will be sending entries to the UOB art competition again. 50 over paintings to submit and we have the whole afternoon till 6pm. 50 over paintings on canvas i failed to mentioned. so its not like taking 50 drawings will one hand and take a train or something to go submit them. we have to try squeeze everything into a 10 feet long van and luckily we were able to. shall not elaborate on the submission process to bore u guys, but it was amazing how effective and organised we are witht the 50 over bulky and "mixed-up" artworks.
amongst the crowd there are some students (particularly from fine art i think), children, mums and dads, artist (pro, semi pro, etc), uncle with gray hair that does huge chinese paintings and "people watcher". it was a long process altogether, but it was quite an eye opener for me as i did not play a part in the previous year's competition.

ok time to sleep goodnight.