a battle...

Ignorance will cause more misery.

I was reprimanded today; the only person that has ability to do that and knock some sense into me is only my mum. She reminded me of something, something which I am failing to see, something which I have often reminded others but not myself.

The usual problems have once again surfaced from deep within and now, clouding my mind. I realized I have been such a coward, drowning my courage, making it a dormant substance that might just reside somewhere in me and never voicing out. I have been avoiding and running and landing myself in a never-ending race that will provide no solace when the end comes. This is a problem; it will link to a chain of more problems if it’s not resolved effectively and sufficiently. The only way to console myself is to make it seem like its part and parcel of life, of learning things and challenges that will occasionally pops up and take you on to increase your “experience points” (a fine line to making that as an excuse). Nevertheless, I feel selfish especially towards the people around me that care. I want to make her smile, make them smile, might be difficult, but I will learn to do it anyhow, I can’t just live for myself.

The misery must be dealt with.