where have you gone to?

Where is my true shelf? Why is it hiding from everyone that I feel needs to know “it” better and more throughout. Am I in an identity crisis whereby I am lost myself totally…..I never expect to become the person what some make of me….The person I want to be is right here in here…in my body….the soul is right in here but not understood, not liberated for all to see I supposed….From a book I learnt, people only see things that they want to see and more often than not…missing out on what’s the real deal under…. its their freedom to be selective; really.

I have unknowingly hurt people who are real close around me. The last of people that I would want to inflict pain upon has turned their back against me. Accusations of being a cheat, a liar and a man of aloofness.... It is so impact(ful) that I am beginning to doubt myself, my character, my personality. I have come to a point I don’t see myself as myself, don’t understand myself anymore. Just what the fuck is wrong with me….

Immersing in thoughts is my “daily bread”, my way of communication to myself. I remained mostly silent throughout the entire journey to work though my mum was with me. We spoke little and I know that she knows that I am having some problems. Despite that, I chose not to speak….silence was the only sound lingering…the problems…unsolved….

I am truly sorry to those whom I have disappointed.