心悪い

Sunday 1.25pm. 2 days after xmas. I write as the end of 2009 draws close. The uncertainty fades and things seem to be clearer now. However, i do not enjoy that feeling nor the process. Too taxing on the mind and heart. Always wondering and making guesses. Seems like it really work this way. The more good time; the more bad times.

It has come to my senses. I shan't deny that feeling, i am at a crossroad, not knowing where to head. Ya, my bags are packed of images, memories, anticipations, hopes, thoughts and love. But, i just can't seem to take it further. Way too little confidence i reckon. With all the pessimism lingering, the best method i can think of is to stay away. But is that really the best method. Just whats wrong with me? I wish i wouldn't think so much..just why am i so?