day, weeks, months that felt like secs

been busy, not exactly busy by engaging in some form of events, activities or any practical stuff. To me, sitting that day-dreaming can also be considered busy. Day-dream will eventually lead to something.......hence, it is part and parcel of a "busy" schedule and much essential. Be it busy trying to keep yourself busy or busy busying......its all taking your time, working your mind and draining the juices (mind you, i meant creative/logical juices...the two halves of a neocortex connected by a bundle of nerves called the corpus callosum...the left and right sides of your brain).

The brain, heaviest organ in our body. Contains 100 billion cells and uses energy faster than another organ. The architecture of the 1,000,000,000,000,000 synapses(connections) in our brain make thinking possible....make us busy with thoughts.....make us/me for who/what we are. Personally, i would considered it(thinking) as the most profound, unexplainable and magical feature of us human.

Have a good week ahead.

coming to the end of the week.

will write soon.

A great weekend / What am I made of?

Last weekend has been fabulous. More of domestic stuff which made me felt better than wandering aimlessly in the shopping mall or being at the most happening club trying too hard to be a poser…First, it was fri night, simply unforgettable…Sat, sent my mum to work, to temple to pray to my ancestors, to soccer and to Val’s place for a huge gathering. Friendly and approachable were her relatives and all. It was a good get-together for me. Sunday, 8am at bukit timah and all the way to butterfly trail. I have never felt so exhausted during cycling before…1pm, back to urban life….nice to feel the switch…caught a movie at night….thats about it for weekends. Monday, here blogging, fucked up feeling, sigh. Fuckers piss me off...

I can finally feel its presence. When I can’t, I want to be able to feel it. When I do, I want to get rid of it. I need a good laugh, some peace and a good balance.

We all want a Good Life...

"I hope you had a good time this new year." - val

I didn't think i would be able to enjoy chinese new year once again. after so many years, i thought i am slowly beginning to lose the understanding of excitement and enjoyment.

This year? Smashing good time it has been....the closeness with my family, cousins, my friends and with her. All these, forms my "everything". Nothing else beats the greatness of having what i have now.

It's valentine's......finally.....

the day at work for me seem to be a distraction.....basically i cannot keep my eyes focus, my ass still, my hands on the keyboard and mouse. I just have to look around, move around and waiting for time to pass. 3pm....geesh, why can't hours be felt lke seconds just for today? 1520, 1547, 1558, 1602, 1618, 1628, 1648, 1701, 1709, 1721, 1735, 1741, 1752, 1753, 1754, 1755, 1756, 1757, 1758, 1759....

1800, i start looking at references from websites and stopped working on my artwork. Looking; yes just looking, not even reading the text, referencing the graphics....i was simply just looking into a particular blank pixel out of the millions beneath my LCD...... 1815+++, i left office thinking i would probably arrived on time today. Nono, something is amissed! i rushed home to take the "you-know-what" and drove my 2 door, red "ferrari" to my destination. i waited for "you-know-who" and did the "you-know-what" and drove my ferrari, heading for the place which is going to be headed by me and "you-know-who"......

Reservation made, by the beach it was, casually dressed we were, two "moon bathing" facility there were, nice music, pleasant scenery and marvellous company.....incredible.....

living for the moment and improving on every little thing that brings us together to the utmost of our efforts...happy valentine's to all...

Escape the norm

29jan - 9feb
Pre-Valentine's vacation -- to a place where almost Urban Amish mates past time.
It's a no choice kind of situation. But fortunately, the green-faced days are over.

Having to greet the birds in the morning, it's definitely not a norm. Seeing students in a sardine packed like bus means I am reporting early, taking a bus where not more than 50% of the seats are taken means I got to pray hard that the RP doesn't find trouble with me. The first day back there wasn’t easy. The waking-up-early, putting on the greens, the long boot laces and the image I see in the mirror….brings back the feeling felt years ago.

No matter how sickening, how pain-in-the-a** it can be, going back certainly brings about an nostalgia feeling. It felt like I have never left that place before…..not forgetting all the s***, the pain, and the sweat we went through together…..

11feb - an annual event

A terrible sunburn caused me a disrupted sleep. The softest of touch make me cry like a baby, groan like a sissy. It was reddish and I could see microscopic red lines underneath my skin. i was thinking to myself, alittle longer in the sun, probably my flesh would be cooked. anyway, what i want to talk about is the annual spring cleaning my family conducts 2 weeks before cny.

Ever since my bro and i could start walking, we have been doing this. Cleaning starts from our own rooms, clearing of things that have not been touched for a year, old documents from don't-know-where, love letters from don't-know-who, old mags, aged newspaper cut-outs of sexy celebs, etc. next, we move to our living room, dining room, kitchen and balcony. Every piece of furniture would either be shifted into the rooms or lifted off the ground for the next process that is to commence is the flooding and splashing of water. Water is sprayed all over the area and every single tiles would be scrub to sparkling white.

Like the tsunami, after the flood comes the clearing of the water and the restoration process. Hate to say this, but this is the only time of the year that i thank goodness that our house is only a 5-room flat......

weather, brilliant, thoughts - my lunchbreak

800am, "seika iwa a..."....triggered by the preset alarm, the melodious song starts playing from my motorola clamshell phone. It was a cold cold morning. As usual, I turned it off and bury my face back into the comfy pillows. Next, my bio clock triggers itself. 820am, dragging myself out of bed and to the washroom. After weeks, i finally started using my toner and moisturiser again (worrying the fact that i might just age too quickly with insufficient sleep sometimes).

On the 4-sided polygon table was a plate of fried eggs prepared by my mum. I was looking out to the sky and wondering if my mum has reached her work place safely. i took one of the eggs, sandwiched it with two slices of Gardenia and place them into another 4-sided polygon tupperware.

Next thing that came to my mind was Val, wondering and worried if she has been sleeping well in this cold weather. Am glad for everything so far and even happier for the good news she told me yest. The first step has been taken and i hope all would turn out good for her tomorrow. But, she will bear in mind the "never-say-die" attitude...I know she will...All these months, i have learnt alot and communication plays a big part. Sharing every thought is equally essential for us as well. Once we talked about judgement, she gave me very fresh insight to the way how oftenly, we perceive things only the way we want to perceive it. How could one have known better how to judge somebody when he or she and that somebody do not even know each other in depth. Too easily taking things for granted, we would actually also look at things on the surface at times and neglecting the subtance that is within.

Quite recently, I also have been thinking alot about friends, relationships, etc. Those who might truly understands me may well be only a handful, maybe lesser than one handful. Feelings, emotions and thoughts are often the most complicated thing bundled with.....actually i am not so sure, maybe just bundled with me. Some friends are slowly getting on my nerves. Speaking as though they know me to the core. Sometimes what they say or think about me makes me wonder if i am a changed man without me, myself noticing it. Thats one confusion i am facing.
Jar pointed out the thing about our "having-no-plans" days months back. Instantly I saw myself being in two different position altogther. One from his point of view, one from my own point of view. "having no plans means no last min plans" and "having plans means last min plans will/might take place". Its precisely because of the existence of plans that causes the presense of impromptu last-min-plans. Could it be because all along i ahve been taking the mins hrs and days for granted already? Time was never calculated or examined this way before...

Its the beginning of the year, ad i am already looking forward to this x'mas.......it will be DAMN nice. take care people.

19th Fri 2007

Will update soon alright? i love you guys(& girls)....
Have a great weekend!

the "ZEN" crap

the idea of zen has taken a whole lot of my long weekends till this very moment as i type....is it as subjective thou?

text below are extracted from some site somehwere....

"Simplicity means the achievement of maximum effect with minimum means."

"The designer must adhere to the concept of miegakure since Japanese believe that in expressing the whole the interest of the viewer is lost."

Talented jazz musicians, for example, know never to overplay but instead to be forever mindful of the other musicians and find their own space within the music and within the moment they are sharing. Graphic designers show restraint by including only what is necessary to communicate the particular message for the particular audience. Restraint is hard. Complication and elaboration are easy...and are common

The Zen aesthetic values include (but are not limited to):

Simplicity

Subtlety

Elegance

Suggestive rather than the descriptive or obvious

Naturalness (i.e., nothing artificial or forced),

Empty space (or negative space)

Stillness, Tranquility

Eliminating the non-essential

first in 2007

update?



updating......



updated.

whatever makes a suitable title.

wednesday afternoon, trying very hard to work on the damn research paper.finall this morning i can feel the mood kicking in for me to finally start on it! probably i have to go to kinokuniya or borders to find a book titled "research paper/thesis writing for dummies in 4 days". or alittle more precise, "research paper/thesis writing for dummies in 4 days for individuals with no motivation or mood to do it". No no, i need something more specific, "research paper/thesis writing for dummies in 4 days for individuals with no motivation or mood to do it and will still result is flying colour grades and also making sure u wouldn't screw up the presentaion even though your f***in mood is so bloody dampen". If any of you do come across that book, please let me know.

thanks to the office for having a shortage of salsman, that resulted in me being able to drive the van home daily. the convenience of a transportation whenever you need it makes owning a vehicle for me a mandatory possesion in the future when i have saved enough. its goo in a way, as it enables me to travel from point A to point B to point C to point D to point B to point A to point C and back to point D much easier and much much more conveniently. before u misunderstood, its definately not about speeding from place to place.....sometimes, i just don't get it when people who experienced my ultra safe and skilled driving accused me of reckless and fast driving.....especially to those who drived WORSE and at times much FASTER than me; dare to accuse me, better "wake up your idea!" ok...don't think sportscar can talk big with me alright?!?! :) anyway, like ming....i have a very short and sweet wishlist. my ultimate dream car......nope nope not evo, not wrx, not lumborg, not ferrari ...not a diablo nor a super charged jaguar as well...what i want is a turbo-charged JEEP.....heh....a turbo-charged wrangler that roars! ok thats simple yea?

recently, my friend told me the good news of starhub upgrading the consumers' plans from 4000k to 6000k bandwidth totally free. however, before that even take place, i realise my current 4000K connection is starting to have problems and enjoys d/cing itself. What i wanna say here is, whats teh point of making it faster and faster when u can't have a reliable connection? more problems it gives me, i am gonna call the hotline.

recently, lots of ups and downs. knocks and misses.......even though sometimes it may be quite bad, i am still glad for everything we have gone through. its part and parcel and they are all very essential........problems and setbacks arise for us to take on and conquer, not avoid....thus making the good gets even better.....

a marvellous sunday; MAKE IT

its sunday yet aagain....and i would like to say good morning even though its already 4.13pm and ticking....

don't want to talk about how much i like the blue sky, the chilly weather etc.....i woke up at 1040am again....a time close to yesterday's....oh yesterday, finally went back to 940 and played some soccer with my soccer kakis after "only-god-knows-how-many-months"....and guess what, the first thing i did after getting into the court was to kick the ball at some malay fellow during a change of teams....i didn't even bother to apologise, i was a angry man that morning i must admit....can only blame it on him getting into my path....anyway, after one match, i felt like i have ran a marathon....thought somebody might have stolen one of my lungs while i was sleeping or something....thats about all for saturday, hang out with the guys at night, but on my mind was something else....

Just don't feel like staying at home sometimes, other then the music playing and the occasional alerts popping up from msn, my mind usually wanders. what bothers her bothers me, what bothers my buddies bothers me and what bothers me bothers me.......anyway, it has been days since this sentence has been lingering in my mind... "almost everything is something about her".....feel like penning my thoughts, but don't feel like typing further, my wrist aches, my nervous system is tired...

enjoy sunday~~!!!

0056 1dec - belief

if i believe, then nothing can stop me

of time, of feelings and of thoughts...

time is slipping and the clock never seem to stop ticking...fatigue seems to have become a good friend of mine lately and always show up as and when he/she likes. Despite this, i have set my directions straight and clear....and am sincerely looking forward to fulfilling or taking them on. I hope everyone around me share the same feeling about it.

i was flipping through a design book one day and came across a poster design by someone (can't remember who). it was the content of the poster that caught my eye. specifically, the text it bears..... "I love the rest of my life though it is transitory. Like a light azure morning glory."

how meaningful.....goodnight.

Sunday...

strange enough, i feel more at peace today while being at home..... probably its the weather, probably its the song that is playing on my wmp......nashville skyline by dishwella.

Nashville
The capital of Tennessee, in the north-central part of the state northeast of Memphis. Founded in 1779 as Fort Nashborough, it was renamed in 1784 and became the permanent capital in 1843. Nashville is a port of entry and major commercial center known especially for its music industry. Population: 488,374. - dictionary.com

i have always enjoy looking at the nature, the sea, the sky and the greens......even when i drive.....i remember the earlier days when i owned a digital camera, mostly pics of the sky and trees filled up my "memory card" and minimal of human faces and poses etc. its a sunday afteroon, and the dark clouds have just cleared the sky. it is now cooling with occasional birds' chirpings, and breeze gently ruffling the curtains......only thing you want to do is to be with your love one[s].....

first time in my life, for that spilt second..... i wonder about honesty. whether or not it actually pays.....but still no matter how weird or odd this thought might be.....its still extremely important to live with a clear conscience. this is just the way i am brought up.....here, i would like to share with u an article. provoking at times, but the thoughts are still as lovely.

[“No legacy is as rich as honesty”, William Shakespeare quoted, and I totally buy it. This includes the younger days when you managed to steal a mango from your neighbour’s mango tree, probably sneaking through the backyard. Karma is the word, for the perfect description. According to the Indian tradition, it is the principle of a person's actions that have consequences meriting reward or punishment. Typical human nature, I would emphasize, people tend to take things for granted not knowing that they are expecting the worse.

Likewise, for other situations, or rather in every situation, honesty is most appreciated. Living a life with a clear conscience is so much easier than having to lie all the time. You might have denied about your past, for the present situation, be it a wonderful start of a relationship or friendship. However, the beans will spill someday, somewhere, somehow. Having to face the music, eat humble pie, and be able to gain the trust from that so very important person with loads of convincing explanation, it is not going to be easy. As defined, integrity is all about honesty and vice versa. One way to measure integrity and honesty is by being true to our values, soul, commitments and relationships. Relationships; I see it as a very important factor in one’s life, be it with parents, cousins, friends or partner.] - writeup by opportunity

Enjoy your sunday~

the Kingdom of Hearts - YYYYY の物語

At a point of time where I believe no one actually understands me, leaves my mind to wander ….and to lead to this…..it was tough to handle and I felt like screaming it out into their ears…..but I still have to keep my composure…..for that is who and how I am like.

The picture I have painted is close to perfection; at least in my own eyes. The beautiful scenery, the rich blue sky, the greens, the lovely weather, the cool breeze brushing against our neck, and the activities we are doing. It felt nice and blissful. It can happen, it will happen and goes on forever…. (forever is not an appropriate term.. I should probably say “goes on for as long as it can”).

The embracement in the middle of a garden where time seems to stall for me just feels like eternity (alright, just what exactly is eternity…does it exists? Just the longest possible duration I would call it).

The butterfly shall not leave me, its presence is much welcomed and appreciated and loved….Hmm, it might be able to lead me out of my woes and make me smile, but it has the equal capability to bring me to the rock bottom as well. However, it’s all worth it, I would say. For it could be just a rare occurrence which might only take place this one time in my life.

the Kingdom of Hearts II

YYYYY watched, as the two backviews drift further and further into the foggy atmosphere and finally disappear into the woods. These two views has been familiar since the days while he was still in primary school. Not forgetting those were the times where worries and a troubled-mind is almost neglectgible. The people he has met throughout the entire time, the friends he made and the buddies he is having....made him what he is of today......

YYYYY stood there for quite a while trying to re-adjust the feelings in him.....*a phone call that changed his life(an article YYYYY will write in his journal a few days after today) * moving on.... YYYYY arrived at this well maintained garden of purple and red roses.....just above them are a number of butterflies fluttering their wings in a orchestral manner. as he moves towards them to observe, most of them fly further away except one..YYYYY took a good look at the beautiful wings that it bears......of the two conspicously marked wings....the design seems like an alphabet V repeating at both sides. YYYYY can't seem to take his eyes of it......he is in love with the butterfly....

To be continued...

the Kingdom of Hearts..

it all started out at day zero. Dressed in a simple bermuda and clean slim cut - tee, YYYYY set to explore the dense forest that is just 100 meters away from his woody hut. armed with a bottle of evian and a long fallen branch, YYYYY marched towards the vegetation confidently. back home...his proudest belonging is just a piece of printed paper what others usually termed as "certificate" (i.e. a diploma or degree). knowing that he has a dream to pursue, that piece of crap can easily find its place in the bin.....

missing out on loads of stuff..be it good or the bad, YYYYY decided not to let loose of this opportunity so easily. he has been knocked in the head pretty badly once and now everything else seems to have changed except his heart. still as true as ever (only he is aware..)...

The late afternoon sun left the dense vegetation slightly warm and humid.....YYYYY was walking and walking occasionally tilting his head down to look at his footsteps. observing the footprints behind and the spacing between everyone of them........he soon realised those footsteps can nvr be laid in the exact position under the exact circumstances @ an particular time, of his lifetime and, not forgetting the feeling that is in him. there will nvr be a second duplicated one ever......

YYYYY then had this weird feeling in him and as he looks up, his eyes widen....he wanted so much to call out, but the words just seem to have lost their pronounciation, melacholic tune, etc.....nothing came out of his mouth.....

To be continued....

today is friday...

-A designer’s world…
As usual, late I am…..turning on my computer and checking my mails. As my tutor used to put it, the role of a designer of any aspect is a profound thinker. It seems to make some sense as I constantly feel like I am walking around with a empty mind that is just constantly searching for ideas and creative thoughts. A fear that it will someday fail to work this way is something unimaginable, something extremely dreadful.

-
You can punch me, you can kick me, you can slam me, you can whack me with a baseball bat…..but only words can hurt me….

-
Exuding an aura of worldliness is the special ability. I like the thoughts. I love the written form. Speaking a lot of truth and yet sometimes confuses me a little. Am I seeing things you can’t see or is it simply I am not seeing enough? Know not only what’s best for others….but what’s best for everyone… Love yourself to love others.

a battle...

Ignorance will cause more misery.

I was reprimanded today; the only person that has ability to do that and knock some sense into me is only my mum. She reminded me of something, something which I am failing to see, something which I have often reminded others but not myself.

The usual problems have once again surfaced from deep within and now, clouding my mind. I realized I have been such a coward, drowning my courage, making it a dormant substance that might just reside somewhere in me and never voicing out. I have been avoiding and running and landing myself in a never-ending race that will provide no solace when the end comes. This is a problem; it will link to a chain of more problems if it’s not resolved effectively and sufficiently. The only way to console myself is to make it seem like its part and parcel of life, of learning things and challenges that will occasionally pops up and take you on to increase your “experience points” (a fine line to making that as an excuse). Nevertheless, I feel selfish especially towards the people around me that care. I want to make her smile, make them smile, might be difficult, but I will learn to do it anyhow, I can’t just live for myself.

The misery must be dealt with.

20/211006

have not felt this way in years.....purest of joy i would describe it......thanks for everything, thanks for being there....you all know what i am talking about.....you know what i am talking about......a simple one is all i asked for and i will cherish it dearly...

for those who are not there...its not like i have forgotten....but its just the way i wanna have it this year....appreciate all the wishes~

"living the moment" as i put it so smoothly....meant a lot greater deal than the ease of how it was being put across....now, i shall have renewed strength to protect this thing (not exactly a proper term) that is of such great importance and dear to me....

寒いの心

最近、心の物はとても怒らせる。毎日、少しの眠りがなりました。感慨過ぎだ。。。

tomorrow never knows.

i do not know if i have a similar title before, but this is what i feel like writing.....

Since near a year ago till today, every month, every week, everyday, every minute and every secs, i did what i've wanted to do and i said what i've wanted to say for i know there is a possibility that i i might be gone tomorrow (i.e. die or get abducted by aliens) its not necessary a pessimistic thinking but it gives me a different approach towards life and living (probably optimistic from another view). In simpler words, ....(you all will know what that is)......

the good will last as long as the bad doesn't happen, but if the bad doesn't happen, how do we identify the good? Anyhow we should all wish for the good to last...

Lesson 081006, 12hrs of lecture and tutorials

This particular post could be rathr difficult to write...till now since more liek 12 hrs ago.....i still can't find a peace of mind. i appreciate every move made and every thoughts taken. And no doubt questions marks will continue to find a presence in my mind over thoughts and actions taken.

Worry not about trust for i will only tell you my most genuine thoughts and not bend my words. If it continues to stay this way, the trust will not be betrayed and i will continue to feel the sincerity i have felt.

not necessary everything is wrong. there is no right or wrong, only as said earlier, do what your heart tells you to. do not take opinions as suggestions or even intructions. opinions are what i thought could be best for u. whether you take that route, i will still continue to provide my most sincere words.

ever the same...

the more i wait, the more i think and the more i plan, my army would have long been destroyed. thanks for the reminder.

Still in the office doing some irritating projects for wisma.....some giant lollipops you might probably see in town tomorrow.....some roller-bladers(is there such a term?) will be armed with a giant lollipop each weaving through the crowds of orchard fanning and clearing up the haze alittle and at the same time promoting this new place i suppose....think its a brilliant and functional concept. but then to me this proj is still irritating...ok, this paragragh is negligible.

BT playing, KH writing

not all consequences are that hard to bear, sometimes just gotta think less "hard"

For some reasons, i logged on to the long forgotten friendster after such a long time.....I spent quite abit of time on it and was reading through the testimonials......i read and checked the date repeatedly, its 2006 no doubt, it sets me to think how fast the time just passes without me knowing it. it just occurs to me that some people do write stuff which they can't really promise and unsure of. How many people can actually vouched for what they have said themselves....... They changed slowly not noticing it and have since thrown those rubbish text into the bin. They no longer value what they have said or rather, they have no control over it. the subconscious state of our mind developing makes us think less of the passed? anyway, i know what i am talking about, but i don't know what i am writing about. Don't bother to crack your head over this. Alright enough of nonsenses. Here's the real deal.

031006-fosseldragerrebmemerotthgina...
Coincidental it was, Not the way i expect it to turn out, Not all things goes as planned, the catalyst injected, crude jokes and laughter filled the air, didn't feel good about it for it wasn't the way i wanted it to be, but not all things are under a single control, it spills and it creates an effect, the mysterious route that strangely leads one thing to another in an unexplainable order. 2mugs felt like 2 jugs it was.

its month end and this has nothing to do with this post

the last 8 days has been quite chaotic. not sure whether this is the best vocabulary to use thou, had an over-dose of booze the entire week.... greatly changed the impression of people will have of me in terms of appreance(u'll know what i mean when u see me)..... working as diligently as ever...still procrastinating over my school work....trying out the beast pushing it at its limit(which i doubt i did).....and cont to wonder why "the one" has failed to appear on my "anti-singlehood" radar system.

with reference to my butt's, oops i mean bud's blog....this extraction as you read on:
..............................................
buddies you can't buy

we gather for food, parties and games..

the one game that bring us closer together, Winning Eleven
One plays and makes lots of irritating comments.
One plays with a serious face.
One plays and squeals like a girl.
One plays like he is gonna kill someone.

Be it games, lunching, dinnering, steamboat, parties, birthdays, festive season, gathering, supper.. the effort of making the first move to make a gathering, to make that call, it is all this simple things we do, that make us buddies that can't be bought..

...................................................................
i appreciate friends for knowing and understanding me well.....thinking of the times i can't even stand myself. for that, i take my hat off you (now is this proper english again?) i guess knowing me to the core is a difficult deal and even i myself continue to surprise myself sometimes with my behaviour, actions, thoughts and such....

to chelsea, the more complex we wanna think sometimes.....we will end up getting back to the simplest form of saying like "live life to the max" blah blah

to arsenal, welcome back dude.....i will continue to thrash your arsenal

to barcapool, your use of barca or liverpool "trying to confuse us" tactics will not work against me. all the best to your freaking chim studies. maybe u can go learn some martial art and u can be the next "wongfeihong"....

"buggering"

the alcoholic level isn't sufficient to wash the thoughts thats perpetually rounding in my "2nd mind".......but still, i manage to come to a conclusion of whats best for me.

it takes alot of discipline and determination. And i am appreciate my friends' advices.

i will hence, look forward to the new path that i am going to take on.

Unsure of which path will be the merrier one, but deinately its a cause and effect formula which ultimately helps me to decide and weighs the priorities in life.

i apologise for the "screwed up" vocabulary and grammer.....goodnight.

money will not make MY world go round.....hopefully~

as far as the present "me" is concerned.....the title of my post is somewhat factual and accurate.

3times i witness.....3.xx am....collected the cam that was ever so readily to be lent out.....2nd night of addiction, 2nd night of late sleeping.......knowing i have a grave duty the next day, i do wat i thought was right....what my heart tells me to do.....so there isn't exactly any right or wrong....anyway, it felt good....don't ever think you are good at "guessing" games...you'll never know how he/she feeling, what he/she is thinking until you talk to him/her.........

a meet-up today made me feel how old we have become...how much the thoughts of the past should be cherished even more. still un-able to conduct expressionism in a verbal form comfortably, i do what i usually do best, listening and talking less......in other's context could be the following: stoning, unattentive, aloof, nonchalant, reserved, disinterest, etc

been rather "occupied" recently, miss the days of "down-hilling", "thursday's sentosa", "steamboat sessions" and many more......(this paragraph is redundant)

by now, you should get what the title is trying to imply? maybe, maybe not.....

make or break

it was a hectic week (last week that is), a "meaningful" friday and a refreshing weekend. all i can say, the way i react to things never fails to amaze myself.

assignements are piling up and i had to find means to complete them. thinking of a new hypothesis statement for my reasearch paper, and struggling to start on my specs app. its the last of two monmths before i say bye bye to studies for now..(as the usual studious and geeky me, i would love to pursue a masters, or phd etc)

now....i feel this post is alittle redundant......

someone that i can really love.

feeling bold and just imagining i am talking to a wall right here, i daringly pen down my title for my post today as the thought suddenly struck me just when i was about to head for my shower.

maybe its time, maybe its desperation, maybe its the feeling of insecurities of this unpredictable world that triggers this thought. i know the reasons very well why she hasn't appear.....maybe i was being stupid, but all that belongs to the past. if there is one more thing i have to be afraid about now, it has got to be this - not being able to find someone that i can truly love....its scary, almost as fearful as the "2310".

my mom suddenly has the kick recently for questioning about my singlehood status. i was taken aback, i was shocked and i had nothing much to say. its the first time ever she asked about this in such a concerned manner. of cos there is no standard procedure to finding the "right one"...so i did not bother to explain that i delibrately missed some steps or avoided the short cut.......

maybe its all the love that is in the air recently that causes this..........my friends, my cousins, my family, the kind neighbour, the courtesy bus uncle etc......

loving love and love loving......it feels good

not writing by days but by memory chunks...

the key to adrenaline once again
the "crux" is in my hands and the ignition process follows. the excitement filled to the brim of my throat, too precious for me to open my mouth and spill them all. a light twist sets the beast growling, and reving its soul in a ferocious manner. ready to be set loose and terrorise, my heart beats faster as i put it into motion. slow and steady as echoes of the growling gets louder and louder. it seems desperate to be freed from the concrete cage, i got full control of it as we wander out into the open. growling gradually turns into roars.....the feeling is unexplainable. weaving through the calm flux on what seems to be a peaceful afternoon, the rage of the roaring was like music to my ears....enjoyment.

an arty sunday afternoon
usual sunday when i would go to studio haroobee at esplanade. packed and busy in the morning but still compared to any other work, its worth it. this sunday would somewhat be qute different. like last year, we will be sending entries to the UOB art competition again. 50 over paintings to submit and we have the whole afternoon till 6pm. 50 over paintings on canvas i failed to mentioned. so its not like taking 50 drawings will one hand and take a train or something to go submit them. we have to try squeeze everything into a 10 feet long van and luckily we were able to. shall not elaborate on the submission process to bore u guys, but it was amazing how effective and organised we are witht the 50 over bulky and "mixed-up" artworks.
amongst the crowd there are some students (particularly from fine art i think), children, mums and dads, artist (pro, semi pro, etc), uncle with gray hair that does huge chinese paintings and "people watcher". it was a long process altogether, but it was quite an eye opener for me as i did not play a part in the previous year's competition.

ok time to sleep goodnight.

the fastest way to eat a muffin that doesn't belong to you

it took me 11 days to come to blogsopt.com and to key in my username and password. the ease of writing seems to have drift away from me and i just can't seem to be able to write anymore. probably its the amount of "concentration" i put in during my day work.

reading a very interesting book titled "the valkyries" by paulo coelho. a book on sorcery, magic, wisdom and as stated on the back cover of the book, the question of "why do we destroy the things we love most". By the way this book only cost 8 bucks in philippines compared to those 17+, 19+ and 20+ in singapore.

An extremely hectic month and months its going be for me. back to sch last week, had some presentaion and more assignments to "clear" before end oct comes. still trying to find that balance we ought to have in my life. now slowly i can see its beginning to tilt towards that and i will continue to strive and make it that way.

Today i was thinking, would i be happier to have tonnes of money and be able to buy a few thousand dollars bag "effortlessly" or to work and save tirelessly to buy that particular bag. which would you prefer?

yyyyy is feeling down these days, friends at school bullied him and no one cares about him. he walks on the pavement and he was kicked to the pavement by cyclists. he thinks that none of his friends care for him. he thought everything is so meaningless, he gets upset and cries and curse everyone else. he doesn't realise these are the things that mould him that could make him a stronger person. just when he thinks the whole world doesn't understand him, he should have thought that maybe he doesn't understand others as well. not all things can be judge by appearances, jjjjj(yyyyy's used to be good pals) tells him. if only things were so simple, life would seriously loses it interest, its the challenges faced that makes life, that makes yyyyy himself or somebody he will grow up to be. jjjjj always remembers the good old days as a child. a time when innocence, naiveness and fun replaces the problems and complexity of thoughts of adults. at a earlier moment of life where jjjjj and yyyyy would always go and visit that beautiful shady apple tree that is lcoated on this hill opposite their house across a river. Only playing and having fun all day long, they will one day grow up and will learn the ways to understand what its all about.

Just ask and quickly put it into your mouth before an answer was given. thats the trick.

blazering hot babes.....

actually, i do not know what to write these days, if i were to write my state of mind, my thoughts or rather feelings these days......its probably gonna bore you or dampen your mood....as for activites wise, there isn't much to talk about either, just the huge gamble i took between my studies and work. constantly i am questioning myself whether is it worth it? but sometimes you just got to face such harsh facts that everything will not goes the way you have planned it to be.

history is continuingly to be written daily, every hr, every min, every second. this self activated process only seems to be developing at an scary pace. the faster the future takes place the faster i feel the past is drifting away from me..(seems like i still can't help but talk about feelings and thoughts blah blah..)....i hope a potion that can help me think differently exist. so i can glup it down and reset my way of thinking. i yearn to master the art of lateral thinking.....but not this particular kind that is so tormenting.

there isn't really much to write regarding the passed 10 days or so. kind of like celebrated my friend's birthday today, finally reached the quater-life crisis. could be considered the best so far in years, simple yet beautiful....

for those who are wondering what exactly has the title got to do with the contents of this post. think no further, you got to put your brain below your computer chair when you attempting to read contents from this block/blok/bloc....anyway tell me which guy on earth is not attracted to hot babes, i would love to meet him and give him a peace of my mind. stay true and be real for goodness.......read between the lines, behind, on top, below, smash it up and get to the inside of it.....

9th Aug, a day to remember

woke up at 9am, supposed to play soccer, but the ground is wet due to a morning shower(and i mean shower from the sky....not those in my bathroom) did nothing much, laze around and went to sleep again @ 13.44...

i realised how time is so easily wasted when i just talked about "nuaing" or relaxing at home.
if i were to sit doown and think, there could be quite a list of things i can do instead of just wondering what i should do. (erm don't try too hard to comprehend this statement, you can't do it)

1) start a series of japanese drama and finish it within the day.

2) learn to bake a cake.

3) re-decorate/design my room.

4) do some stuff for FB.

5)watch my "total trainings".

6) set up my dark room.

7) watch dvds with my folks.

8) help my mum look for the orchestra songs by kurt edelhagen (from a vinyl - "holiday in italy") dated 1972.

9) learn drifting.

10) oh yah! do my school assignments!!!

11) update the d*** blog.

12) continue to think what to fill in for 13, 14, 15 adn so on....

anyway its national day, thought the its gonna be another super bored and wasted day, but it wasn't. today i drove my dad for the first time and maybe my mum 3rd....but both of them together, its a first... its something i had wanted to do very much....went to my uncle's place for dinner and watch fireworks? those things that burst out in the sky? is that call fireworks? or is there a more profound term? anyway, i am not so much into the fireworks, cause its the company there thats counts and it was nice. we rolled our own "popiah"...drink chinese tea....watch fireworks.....simple but enjoyable.... regret forgetting to bring my camera thou.....if not i could post some here. just imagine ok.....fireworks bursting in radial manners....contrast in size, colours and height of projection......haha ok goodnight..

probably will upload some misc pics tomorrow.....if i were to upload now...the slow server will most likely cause me to sleep 1hr later....

toomanyminds

*listening to Steady&Co-Only Holy Story...

KH: welcome to the world of falsification, pretention and hypocrisy.....the truth hurts, but thats some survival skills to many..

GH: i still gotta try wanting it more than ever....

goodbye~

here are the pics i failed to upload

this stupid blogspot is quite a pain in the a** sometimes, wanted to hit the sacks early!!! anyway here are the pics supposed to go together with the previous post.

merry xmas to all in advance.....

i am there...somewhere beyond the horizon......

good to have a pool side party~

have a great weekend people~!

yet another week...yet another friday...

hmm, first of all...like to explain that this blog is not updated on a weekly basis....its just that i was really occupied with something else.....i know alot of people miss me writing here...wahahha.....

i don't want to bother u people with some of my thoughts about pain, departure, memories, cries, sadness, "the world eating me up", "people eating me up", etc..... its friday and its meant to be happy~, happening, ......joyous, what else....arhh.....forget it....

it was a tremendous week.....busy busy busy.....since sunday i hardly had any time to do some sport.(oh yah, not that i don't want to...my ankle is still miraculously not back to its full operational form since about one week ago...that was when i use my left leg to kick a reckless taxi away to help save someone..) .... to catch a movie....make an effort to meet with my friends...let alone say to continue my quest in search of the "one"...

oh yah, went to studio on sunday after missing it for 2 weeks due to my sch assignments and such...really miss going there and that day was rather good....esp, till the end when i had to take sk and b.....they really made my day....made my week and month in fact......b never speak so much to me before......sk too.....it was really an enjoyable session......whole studio filled with our voices and laughters......b was describing to me the story of her drawing....while sk was busy trying "memorised" my name.....she gave me all sort of names she can think of but not my actual one.....thomson...zhejie.....gunhao....blah blah....i appreciate her spending the effort....somehow...finally i made them remember my name.....told them i would test them when class ends at 6.....while finishing up on their artwork.....at around 6....sk suddenly ask me what time is it......i told her 6:10.....and she asked me again, "are you going to test us for your name?".....i smiled and both b and sk started to say "your name is genghao...genghao...genghao.....(kept repeating)"....that was really a unexplainable kinda joy.... not trying to exhibit the sensitive side of me here...but it was really a great feeling....some feelings that i probably had not experienced in years.......(there are lots of things which i don't say in the past...and that is not necessarily a wise option)

sk, kh, b

sk, kh, b

ok, so much for the kids.....nothing much about the weekdays...busy...eat...sleep...waste money.....lazy/tired to update blog......busy...eat...sleep...waste money.....lazy/tired to update blog.....busy...eat...sleep...waste money.....lazy/tired to update blog......busy...eat...sleep...waste money.....lazy/tired to update blog........face the computer about 15 hrs a day and i think i need to get a pair of spectacles soon..... haha

just finish helping my friend update photoes on his webbie and to the courtesy of him....i get the permisson to put some of his pictures to share with you all......taken in komodo...bali i supposed.....btw he is a diver/avid photographer.....stunning pics of his trips he will show you.....

blinkblinkblink and its friday.

My BNP is on tv again…… reckoned that she might be probably talking about sports this time as I see images of tiger woods….Zinedine Zidane (now if you know why I use caps for zz and not for tw) on the screen. Wasn’t listening to her at all as my earphones were on and I was listening to the familiar tracks of Rip Slyme-masterpiece/tasogare surround……DJ Krush-Pendulum and Aerosmith-Angel…..

*music still running
I turned to look at the “bus” of people (*note that bus is not the appropriate collective term for describing people…..if I am not wrong its company of people….anyway, I used bus because I want to describe the people who are on board the bus). All the same bored, tired and restless face; just from the expressions alone. What they are thinking or really feeling? I do not know. Maybe this….maybe that…..I do not wish to guess or try interpret…..However it lead me to thinking what is the kind life I want to lead…..The so-call “typical” Singaporean life? (now, how do we define that word typical of someone else’s’ life?....i think its bullshit if its has a standard definition). Anyway, I think I know what kind it has to be….Tasogare Surround best describes it…….not totally, but a fraction of it……anyhow, I got to fight to make it work…SC....

It’s not about giving others what they want, but helping them getting it / achieving it. That is if you want to be purely helpful and kind I suppose?

I forgotten…Good Morning~

monday blues will be over in 53mins

evening to all~

Hmm...for those who has been reading my earlier post, you might have noticed that i may have used the word 'abstract' incorrectly, corrected by my friend earlier on...i decided to quickly log in and inform you guys of the correction. due to my ethusiast of sharing and not wanting to pollute my friends of my inaccurate use of vacabulary and the possibility of someone out that picking the words that i have been using.....i had better used some proper english....

While i am writing this new post to correct the word 'abstract' to 'extract'....soon to be vet/doc ming said that i could be right.....#%"$&#$&!!.... well i did check the dictionary actually....or maybe the dictionary is not trustworthy as well.....haha...u guys decide then...which is better...anyway talking to you all makes me feel like talking to cows or walls(to be more civilised).....对牛弹琴 u all know?.......hahah....i am not insulting u all.....don't get me wrong.....its just like so dumb sometimes typing to imaginary/virtual audiences. wondering if you all have any idea of what i am saying... its a so linear type of interaction.....

thats what i feel its so strange about all these blogging phenomenal......

anyway, i was on the bus again today when some thoughts came to my mind unexpectedly. some people say they fear lonliness....i think for me, i fear getting use to loneliness unknowingly....in fact i fear "getting use to alot of things" unknowingly....k...nuff of thoughts....

My mum bought a musical CD!!! frankly...i was shocked.....shocked to see that she bought a CD in the last 25 years? shocked to hear that she went to orchard to look for this disc....shocked to see her taking out the orange gramophone plastic bag....shocked to see the disc she bought....almost the exact songs i have heard daily during my cultural studies and music history modules in school.....yes...classicals from the likes of beethovan, strauss, mozart, tchaikovsky, pachelbel etc.....brilliant indeed.......listening to them now while i am finishing up on the last few lines......hmm...u ever wonder like me?.....wonder how well you understand your folks?.....

alright, goodnight.

monday blues huh....

Morning to all~

Saw this abstract of an interview on channelnewsasia today while on the bus…..
Thought it will be something interesting to share…..

BNP: what is the x-factor that you think differentiate one from the other in career management?

BBM: it has been said before……positive thinking…and passion, being the catalyst.

BNP: how can someone be successful with his career management?

BBM: be the best at what he or she is doing, this is the one way where you can be significant and be noticed.

BNP: erhhh erhhh….(haha, I can’t remember the questions)

BBM: think and act like the boss….not posing as the boss but thinking from your boss’s point of view….

BBM: be willing to take on stretched assignments……(going the extra mile for what you do I think….)

*The above interview was summarized and paraphrased to the best of my “non-photographic memory”….
*BNP – Beautiful News Presenter
BBM – Bespectacled Business Man

ouchhhh......

sensational morning.......when i landed akwardly with the outside of my left leg.....for that spilt second of enjoying my still "workable left foot"......i know wats gonna come right next after would be a very "long forgotten" feel of pain that makes me squashed my eyes shut enjoying that sensation.....it wasn't the pain that was hurting....it was the feeling of my tissues ripping thru' the point of impact beneath my skin that hurts....it was a disgusting and nauseous one...... its like squeezing a sealed up pack of grass jelly so hard that everything burst out.....

so much for my sharing.....now going to recieve more tormentation from my father....sure it will hurt more but it helps.....

Thursday morning, a different morning.....

morning to all~

not so much of a rush today, tried my best to be late......wished i had forgotten something......but all did not happen......damn......

anyway...enjoy your day...

damn.....i washed my left hand.....

rainy morning again....got up early....BAHMMM...BIMM....BWHAMM.....get out of my house with my mum @ 8...forgotten something and had to go back and take it.........late i am going to be......as i sat there waiting for te bus../ listening to this orchestral track on my discman, i looked up and watch the drizzle falling over the the tree top by the road side and the white, blue, orange hdb flat composing 80% of the background.

as long as i could remember, i have not look at this particular tree @ this particular angle for more then 20secs before....i was thinking....maybe its the mellow, slow muisc i was listening to that causes this.....the mood was there....the mood was right for me to enjoy this marvellous morning...appreciating the beautiful greens that the tree has produced........if its some hiphop or rock, i probably would spare no more then half a sec......(u get what i am trying to say here? haha)

Anyway the view was very nice...it was something which in my 20 over years stay there that i had hardly notice......anyway that was only the beginning to to a more wonderful morning......lucky i forgotten my stuff...lucky i did not rush to take a cab....luckily...i was late....it was a pleasant bus ride.....it felt like eternity and i wished i didn't have to alight..... a feeling so familiar 10 years back...it makes me realise that not all things are lost.....

こんばんわ～

hmm....最近、私はが学校と仕事の物なら、とても忙しいです。時間は短いでなりました。選択はたくさんなるよ。。。。どしたもいですよ？

今、ここに幾つか"quotes"分ける。。。

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." - Charles Wadsworth

"What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing." - Aristotle

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." - Barry LePatner

how will you truly understand 'x' when you don't know what 'y' is. - KH...

*x is a variable and can be replaced by words like "goodness, happiness, ups, pros, etc".
*y is a variable and can be replaced by words like "bad, unhappy, downs, cons, etc" respectively.
-------------------------------
Yest night had a weird dream...... in the middle of the night, feeling adventurous, me and my friends visited this house that is supposed to be vacant. When me and my friends proceeded upstairs to check out the rooms, we were quite shocked to see someone lying on the bed...as we are about to leave, we turned and saw someone looking at us walking down the stairs.......it was extremely dark and what we saw was only a vague figure......we got frantic and wanna get out of the house, opening all the wrong doors send the shiver up our spine more...and when we thought we were all trapped, a golden retriever appear from nowhere and direct us to a whistler up a door frame.....we blew it and....tadaaaa! we awake from our sleep in the midst of a sunny afternoon @ home....

Thinking Opposite

The reasonable man adapts himself to the enviroment.
The unreasonable man adapts the environment to himself.
All progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George 'something'

It's such good weather todae, gloomy sky and chilling breeze.....lazy to write...will just post some pics.....

got this brochure when i visted singapore recently.

my mammoth parked in my garage.... seldom use it...haven't get the engine for it yet

didn't know it changed so much and so well.....

stacks of stairs (not beautifully taken though..lazy to redo the shoot)

taken from my window 3days ago @8am or so.......

taken from my window again mins earlier....feels like i am in some other part of the world

i am studious too ok, wahahahahah

friends...friends...friends

so many definations for so many people.....had a "not so enjoyable night" yest compared to thursday @ no.5....went there again yest, and the waitress were nice....remembered us a nd greeted us with a warm smile....that sincerity, was the best of the night.......

had the usual booze/drinks and food.....stuff that makes every quarter-life crisis guys like me grow fatter and uglier.....same place...diff storey and almost the same food....quite enjoyable till more and more people joined us......(its not that i am anti-social or anything...its just the crowd probably......i feel they have no idea why they met us and what the hell they are talking about.....its just different interest and things like that may not work on me anymore...) like.....don't laugh when its not funny, don't agree when you had no idea what i am talking about....and don't talk like you know me very well.....it's such kind of feelings that really make me feel sick while looking @ the great pretender sitting opposite me......show some sincerity at least!

maybe i am just babbling nonsense, maybe i am just in a foul mood talking rubbish.....they should really stay at home and accompany their folks.....and i should be at home too...can't really appreciate the "happening" happenings....

anyway, the visit to velvet has no diff from paying so much to visit the zoo.....just that at velvet u keep a look out for girls....and in the zoo u keep a look out for the new species of animal.it was a boring night.....its no longer exciting like before.. the moment i step into a club, i feel like getting out......is that a sign of old age?? a stage where u dun feel u could blend into the crowd anymore.......heck i am just 24+.

thanks for reading till this line........this must have been the most rubbish piece of post i have ever posted...haha there are some points which i can't even come to terms with....just hope everyone be true to yourself and others.

into a vomit - the source

ok...forget about sharing.....just relax in your chair and get bored while reading this........

there could be a ladder i might be able to climb....if its a bluff or taken away.....i will create my own.

ok goodnight folks.....

anyone willing to share?

too many choices, too little time~

not that i am lazy or anything, but just bothered by some uncertainties. but doesn't mean its anything bad.....pros and cons comes hand in hand....just a matter of how i look at it....

had a great weekend? mine was fairly enjoyable stretching from last thurs till the dusk of sunday. thursday-sentosa's "dirt jumping", 20 games of pool@east coast...friday-drinking again..saturday-4hrs of soccer which made me felt like the same old "fitter" kenghow, chill@sgh, watching pathetic england lose.... sunday-filiming in the morning and with kids again@art studio later on.

anyway ming asked to post some pics......don't really know what to post.....wait till i have something better.

anyway, my world cup is over.

Ok, back to my title for the day~~~does anyone has somethin interesting to talk about or share or discuss can drop a comment or something? (not about what you've eaten for breakfast or how you missed the bus, etc)...hmm........Don't be LAZY LAH!............

estoy detrás!

sorry hasn't update in a while..gotten letters of complaint and hate mails already from people whom constantly visit this place....... all my energy was drained in my fight against the 3.5k essay i had to submit 2 days ago. Was doing some cultural thing on graffiti artwork...i thought i didn't like essay writing, but as soon as i got it going, the ride was quite enjoyable.

Painting on an array of connected surfaces (i.e. the corner of a room). Such technique exaggerates the viewing plane by distorting the artwork giving it a 3 dimensional form. and at certain viewpoints, it actually delete the corners of the room. IThe techinical term is known as ‘anamorphic projection’.
-chu

Hmm, done with sharing bits of my research work, now..now i don't know what i should write.....hmm......ok, lets try this one.......yesterday as usual i was playing soccer at amk with my soccer kakis, (don't worry, its not some narration of how i scored beautiful goals or bending the ball like beckham or dazzling the court with my magical skills...) one of team mate (who hasn't gotten my name right) asked for my name as sometimes he wants to make passes to me but i was looking at pretty girls passing by or giving autographs to my "fans"......

Back to reality....ok when he asked me, i had to think for awhile, and he was like puzzled.......i was wondering if i should tell him the hanyupinyin one or the dialect one. Frankly, the only people that call me by the name "genghao" are those from my pri school, my cousins, uncle and aunties. My parents have the priviledge of calling me in a more...erm i would say, warmth tone - "hao ah!"..A low "hao" and a hi "ah"......then i think when we reached some stage in primary school, my form teacher suddenly tell the class one day.."ok class, from today onwards you all have to write your names using the dialect forms"......for a moment i remembered clearly, i was feeling like my real identity is being taken away from me....i don't really feel comfortable with the new 'chong keng how'...It is from then on, we joked about our new dialect names and start identifying ourselves with that not seeing the potential negative effect it will have on us probably psychologically until when we are much older like now(at least for me to a cetain extent).... i was hesitating which one to tell him because i would prefer people to call me "genghao" at most times..genghao definately feels more comfortable and intimate.

this morning i was awaken by a strange dream, i was surprise it would be her in my dreams. it was a pretty saddening dream for it made me feel how some things you are only able to live it once and no more....that nostalgia feeling was strong again when i thought it was fading.....maybe one day it would be gone before we know it.....that is some misery maybe at some point we can't even be aware of........

Weds....in a few days time i would take on a journey whereby my usual self will not be able to handle, i will have to pick myself up from the dump and strive for the better......

time to wake up......sign or omen......

i jumped out of bed, took a superman shower, put on the my paint stained dockers and a checkered shirt, grab a bun and rushed to get a cab.....reason? i over-looked and did not notice i gotta go art studio today.

caught up in a jam.....and i thought its a usual morning jam. but i was wrong, an ambulance light was flickering up ahead and cars were busying filtering to the 2nd lane....i forgot what was on my mind at that instance....but when we come close to the scene, i saw a scrambler bike laying there, then i tried to keep a lookout for the injured. as my cab moves on a grishly image changed my mood for the fast-paced morning i had. the rider was already covered with a white sheet. Images start filling my sudden state of blankness. his friends informing his other friends that he's gone due to an accident...his parents grieving......etc.....what exactly happened i do not know, but a life has been lost......in a moist morning while we wake up and take our breakfast with our family, watched the latest mv on mtv channel, take your dog for a walk in the park, squeezing into the mrt with a crowd of people all heading for the city.......

"he" does not care what plans you have ahead for the day, "he" does not care where you would like to see yourself in 5 years time, "he" does not care that you are going to meet a interesting girl tomorrow, "he" does not care if you wanna be the most successful entrepreneur in future, "he" does not care if u have not spent much time with your family and finally regretted and want to do it the coming week when you are less busy.......once "he" appears in your life.....you will be gone like a speck of dust carrying with u all the memories and experiences u accumulated this lifetime of yours......leaving perhaps lots of people feeling very much upset over their lost, much more than you can ever imagine (ever again)........"somebody" out there, just want you to live life to the fullest while you still can....make it meaningful while you can.....enjoy it while you can.....make every minute counts.......

life is so fragile.
[sorry to write such a gloomy article, it's all part and parcel....we got to face it]

FIGHTO~

There are couple of nice people around you, help make their life merrier and more meaningful.

Wed afternoon, ready to start things afresh finally i hope....

listening to hanson mmmbop, these old tracks are so much better then current hits e.g pussycatdolls-don't cha, etc.....whats on their mind when they made the mv by the way...please enlighten me.


oh yah forget about the 2nd paragragh marked (xxXXXxx) on the previous post...i will write it here.

skipped (not skept which i used wrongly in my earlier post) school this morning again....i woke up punctually but felt tired. yes guilty again for missing school but would felt worse if i don't have sufficient sleep. i used to wake up every morning and look at the clock and quickly count the number of hours i have slept. if lesser than 8, i would try go back to sleep if i can...(for instance, this morning).....sleeping disorder is no joke, it complicates your health and that is one last thing you ever want happening to you. got the number to some specialist, drop me a note if you need some advices.

**Warning-do not read the following article.....it's existence is purely for page extension only*

earlier on, i drove to mount akina for a spin in my hummer h2......slow and steady up the slope. feeling the cool morning breeze on my cheeks and my cigar in my other hand. after having done some exercise and coming downhill....a evo9 delibrately stopped beside me and start revving his engine. then the bugger for some unknown reasons wind down his window and gave me a "thumbs down" hand sign before speeding off negotiating the first bend infront and disappearing into the mountains.....feeling pissed i rammed on my accelerator, breaking through the tranquility of the peaceful dawn and chase after the bugger. with my customised nitroX fittings, i caught up with him in no time(still feeling pissed as that boost cost me $50). i quickly overtook him using the "snakey" techinique and showed him a couple of high speed drifts on the coming bends as a warning to not mess with my hummer. 150km/h drifting round the bends send some rubber smell.......approaching the coming bend, i open my door and looked down my tired as i see them biting rough into the dirt road....even the smoke have made my chrome spinners less glamourous already. i stopped abruptly seeing the the bugger passed me. then i quickly unmount my friend's santa cruz bullit and bash through the woods cutting along the tracks. the adrenaline rush once again set me to paddling faster. the "travel " and the new bomber made me felt like flying through the woods. i finally reach the bottom of the hill in no time and as expected, the bugger was nowhere in sight. i went to the mac, ordered value combo 1 and feast on the junk food. finished my food, washed up the bike and took a short nap......finally the bugger emerged from the woods and looks at me in bewilderment......he couldn't accept his defeat to the bullit, exited his car and took a cab home.........[the above paragraph is based on a true story that might happen in the near future]

talking about the bullit, it belong to a friend of mine whom the rest and me got to know in BT(bukit timah). we were riding and bumped into him with a deflated tire. Being the ever nicest group of people alive in there, we supply him with extra tubes etc....we ended walking out togther eventually. thats how we know him and we continue to go on rides etc.......the menacing bike was repainted to white recently and it looked even cooler....hope the next time, it would be some girl with with a punctured tire.....haha

ok shall go do my report now........

lazy to think of a title at this hour.....

its the time of the night again where i contemplate whether to write or not to write....my heart really wants to but my mind tells me not to...wait a min..or is it the other way round. let you guys know tomorrow..... And ben/zy, if you are reading this.....hope you guys are doing well over there...i think i have a friend workng there as well, andrew seah.....if u see someone always "bioing" girls or flirting around with ang moh chicks...then he's the one....hahah...kidding la...he's a nice fellow la...just not as much as me...wahahaha.

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oh and todae i slept the first half of my class and i felt guilty about it.....better not screw up the "edutainment" presentation tomorrow....ok better pen off now before i regret it later...actually i am already is starting to....

(Xxxxx) - to be filled in tomorrow

lazy to update?

long week it has been, nothing much of the last of whole week to talk about, except some catching up, drinking sessions, and more drinking.

when this particular friend of mine suggest a dinner at his place, it has an underlying meaning of "lets have a drinking session and drink till drop!"..... not a fan of getting all drunk and feeling like a zombie the next day, but i always naively believe that it is a dinner and maybe just few glasses of drinks. that day we end up playing cards, drinking and having some boring forfeit..the same feeling i had from that december "reunion dinner"....playing some rules that is practically set by my friend...shall not go into details, and frankly it bores me. the catching up was nice but the drinking was only so-so(maybe it was the foul smelling vodka).

2days ago, was happy to hear from jarjarbeng that he is going to work with his bro. can't really explain it but i was really glad to hear the news. doesn't matter if it sucks or will be smooth sailing, etc. what important most is what we learn from the process.........and seeing him getting involoved is genuinely a great news~

number 5 was a average place, but the company made the evening great. each time i learn more about them and it felt good....... looking fwd to thursday if it does shine....

it's like 忍一时风平浪静， 退一步海阔天空

On my way home, i begin to pen down these thoughts triggered by an incident which happened earlier. It felt so astonisingly amazing that i want to quickly write it down before i forget about them after my shower and late dinner later.

Soccer/Football; why must it always be from this particular sport where rowdiness and hooliganism knocks on my peaceful door. A rough tackle and follow next comes a heated confrontation. Not going into the details to bore you guys, but how i handled or responded to the situation actually made me felt a better man. Sorry, no kungfu fighting, karate chop, shadow kick whatsoever.....it did affect me slightly but only on the positive side. i felt great for being able to compose myself and allow the game to continue and not dampen the mood.

Although i did not speak much, i hope my silent & minimal retaliation will help make the agressor learn his lessons. I was thinking i should have probably said something to make him realised there is something wrong with his ill-manners. I regret i didn't for he looked kinda gloomy and upset after we all cooled down. In any case, i hope he is so because he is doing some soul-searching and reflecting on his behaviour. If so, it would be a good cause and everything would be worth it.

Oh yah! and to think i actually missed a dinner with some girl for this weekly football game......hmmmm, it's still worth it.........

5 days have gone

woah! it has been 5days since my last post. bear with my inconsistency....but you gotta know sometimes the server is down and such.....anyway, last week has been a blast since zero joules of energy has been put to work. feeling kinda guilty for that but i had other happenings that balances things up(about balance again..things that makes me feel less guilty). i had lunch with my buddies and also a long day out with my cousins. should have bought 4D that day for me and my buds have almost never met up at noon time for probably the past 1 year. as for with my cousins...no words in MY vocab could describe how i felt. anyway, we played 4 different ball games that day(that makes us a quadrathalon?) oh yah, btw, my bowling points jumped from 55 to 101, thus arithmetically, it should double up the next time i play the game again right? On top of these are some days which i have forgotten what had taken place, and i categorised them under "rest days". in the midst of this short week...are mundane stuff that are not really worth mentioning....like helping someone, playing soccer, watching a lousy england game, enjoying the rainy weather, etc. then comes the weekend, as usual, tiring but has greater meanings....next, a new week comes creeping in..

i just read my friend's new blog. i met damien and paul.....they speak some sense....senses from which they belong to; the whole psychological part of the homo sapien nickname jarjarbear. after reading his blog. i have one thought- think, but not think too hard, probably life will be easier this way alright? be thankful for you are still aware.

blinded......

just minutes earlier, i was blinded by my sense of mis-judgement, my carelessness, my recklessness and my fondness for adrenaline rush. Soon feelings of guilt and irresponsibility irks me and these reminders i told myself i should seriously bear them in mind and not take them too lightly.....for those involved, i am sorry. Will continue to learn.

early morning sun; the chill, the breeze, the thoughts

Nice chilly cool weather…its my favorite kind of weather…the kind where makes you don’t feel like doing anything else but to just “nua”(laze) at home…..had 7 hours of sleep and it’s still not sufficient…..just 3 hours earlier, it was the same scorching sun every morning that forced me to wake up…not the best morning of all…but from now it should be better…..

Anyway, let me now try to recap the happenings last week that has been rather significant for me ever since don’t know when….lots of things doesn’t seem to interest me anymore….

So, it was actually a trip to botanic garden and a kite flying session on the following day…..remember I always used to feel that the “process” is more important than the “outcome”, now I realized its also the feelings and emotions engaged while executing the process….i felt bliss, joy, responsibility and trust over the two days. They continuingly took place throughout the process and it was them that made everything felt meaningful and joyous. Sometimes, I could be doing the same thing but not them….hence this time round its really different. We gather, took videos, took photographs….we drew and paint under the sun…we watched, we listened, we shared and we enjoyed every min spent together for we know this is not something that easily takes place in future again….even if it does….the place would have changed, the people would have changed….or the weather could have changed…..etc…maybe you will understand what I am talking about when you see those kids express the purest form of joy an adult can rarely do.

The kite day was almost the same but more hectic…like in war-zone….shortage of time and all….i also had a worry that the kids might be disappointed if their kites wouldn’t be soaring in the sky, haha….but nah…everyone was happy and we were glad..…the day ended with a “company’s dinner” and a few rounds of games at the bowling alley where the guys were defeated miserably by the girls…..i remembered I had a score of 55…..is that too low? Hahaha

Anyway picture speaks a thousand words…..here are a few thousands words I have to offer……

Brilliant aren't they.....taken by the kids....


queuing up in an "orderly" fashion and once all done ...we are ready to go.....


this is evidence.

rubbish's rubbish...not exactly

sometimes we read of look at some previous stuff or works that we write or did....we might kinda feel its not really up to standard or weird. I have this very feeling while looking back at my previous post....it's like what the heck?? who in the right frequency would be able to understand what i am trying to say??.....if only my vocab is as massive as the 4000 pages readers' digest dictionary which i own but not use, and my use of the english language and its grammer is as frequent as the number of times i do flush when i finish using the toilet(i.e. all the time). well...can only blame it other tonnes of factors that are hindering me.....things like playing ps2...cycling...msning....sleeping.... eating..looking for my dream girl in my dreams...blah blah.....

anyway....looks like the interval between my posts are getting longer and longer....its not that i am gettin lazier with blogging..but just that i was quite occupied for the past/passed (i don't know which one, delete where applicable) few days. Bear with me for i am gonna screw up the time frames once again....ermm just what am i trying to say....please read on to understand further the rarest lingo on earth. time check; now is already 4.02am and its alittle bit ironic as i read jarjarbeng's msg from my shoutbox (the green box located on the right hand site of the blog where you can write some stuff if you don't happen to know what that'S for). "very good sleeping hours".....whahahaha....yea i tried and is still trying......and i urge my friends to try to...yea i didn't think i would write a blog too...its just happen so that i suddenly likes it...there are many things that will take you by surprise.....oh yah the time frames.....as u all know, so far i always write after midnight....so actually when i said today its meant yesterday technically....but tomorrow i think i might write something that happend 3-4 days ago......i am writing whatever i am writing now not to inform you but to remind myself that i have to do so for myself as what happened then was really interesting and i wouldn' want to forget what had taken place.....what the heck...i need to really sit down and write about the incidents that took place few days back....so with the tiredness that is bugging me now.....i can only blabber these nonsense for now....anyway the numbers are staggering and that is a pleasant surprise.

some pics as promised

the "dragon kiln" at the pottery where pots are left in high temperature for weeks....until technology takes over.....

it look so kampong like... reminds me of much of the "old" changi where i came from...

the ferrari i was refering to...

K....so much for the pics....quite looking forward to tomorrow's trip @ botanic garden....hmm to this date there has been quite a number of "visits" to this blog by some of my friends i think...for those who are new here and having a big question mark in their head over my blog....please read the very first post if you bother....if not....you might be misled, have some misunderstandings or even confused over the words that are filling up this blog overtime...

todae...i had some thoughts over what happened to me over the passed 6 months...its like a dream which i could not be in total control. however, it makes me look at myself differently and understanding myself much better. the way i look at things and relate to people have all changed...just because of one very overwhelming feature of us human.....thoughts......you'll never know how it will suddenly changes its form and when it will take place. maybe some people might not feel the changes....but it has affect me greatly. pros and cons....good and bad.....when you take you give.....it also highlights the balance of things....the balance of merry and sorrow....of good and bad....or even balance in the things we see....like a picture....a scenery....the personalities of friends and strangers. i feel i need to learn to treasure what i have presently with more depth....for once its gone.....you can never have it occur again....and because of that....i try to treasure the problems i am facing now and sees it more of an aid to me....its only problematic when we don't face it....and when we do...nothing comes in our way...

few days ago....i had a weird thought....i was wondering why human has to age and go through the different stages of life.....why can't it be like being 4 for 5 years then 10 for 7 years then 16 for another 7 years blah blah.....ok nuff of "thoughts"....

Splendid Day - the sequel: splendid week

Warning! if long articles bores you and if you intend to miss some interesting happenings that took place...Please refrain from reading on.

this week till now has been hectic. there's a number of outdoor activities planned by my art school and i have to say they are all very interesting and enriching for us and especially for our kids who are attending them. taking the minibus around reminds me of those primary school days when we still go on excursions. it reminds me of those never returning fun and joy and also the fact that such feelings can only be felt once again nostalgically. sometimes i look at those kids and wonder the sad fact of how much would they remember of their childhood when they get older.

Zzzzzz....crappy thoughts aside, its always a joy to have kids around you...their misson i believe as children include one objective of making adults' life merrier. ahha its only through them that i realise how "ugly" adults can be....how unscrupulous...what hyprocrites some can be...how deceiving...etc...the list could go as long as the yellow pages....

anyway, just to highlight some of the programmes that took place earlier of this week....they are the goat farm, pottery place and the art museum. its not exactly extremely happening place to be for some....but its kinda interesting to me and i have never been to these 3 places. we brought the kids to the goat farm on the sunday and the place was packed like sardine..listened to a presentation from a guy talking about how goat milk differs from cow's, how u can have cough and still drink cold goat milk but not cow's, how goat's meat differs from lamb...fact of how we can't get to eat the meat in singapore and the fact that goat can only milk every 6months blah blah....after all the talking, its time to take a walk around the goat farm.....the reaction to children seeing a "teenage" goat is like us seeing a ferrrari or lamborgini....hmm not exactly.....maybe more like seeing a your room filled with gold bars overnight. they go crazy...they laugh they jump they get extremely elated....

next, the SAM......being a singaporean for like 24 years....this is the first ever time i enter the sam.....i know sam can be found anywhere now....but this sam is not the sam you are thinking that i am talking of.....anyway....the sam is having a pretty interesting exhibition titled"fiction@love" till the 2nd of july....according to my understaning, its about the somewhat fusion of animamix art and contemporary art. its a little bit of animation, manga and some other popular culture forms. Its pretty interesting and cost adults only $3. if u can pass off as a child..then u pay half of that....

finally.....the pottery place. nice kampong feel....big place....and lots of pots.....

ok will post some pics soon....